Groucho Marx One-Liners
Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?
I have nothing but respect for you â?¦and not much of that.
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
Room service? Send up a larger room.
Those are my principles. If you donâ??t like them, I have others.
He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot, but donâ??t let that fool you. He really is an idiot.
I never forget a face, but in your case Iâ??d be glad to make an exception.
A child of five could understand this. Fetch me a child of five!
From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Someday I intend to read it.
You know I could rent you out as a decoy for duck hunters?
Youâ??ve got the brain of a four-year-old boy â?¦and Iâ??ll bet he was glad to get rid of it.
Why should I care about posterity? Whatâ??s posterity ever done for me?
Why, Iâ??d horse-whip youâ?¦ if I had a horse.
Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas, Iâ??ll never know.
I must say that I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library and read a book.
Iâ??ve had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasnâ??t it.
If I held you any closer, Iâ??d be on the other side of you.

Hi George, long time i don't see you on gpokr, i hope u Lind and all your family, fill good, many whyshies, from me and Rada.

Hi George, i hope all the remaning trip was ok for u and Linda, many whishyes from Rada and me. All the Best.

Hi George, did u receive my previus email? would u confirm to me? Tank you in advance. Best regards.

hi my 8 wat happen wyth monkey gang, in Cap Town.

I may look like an idiot and talk and play like an idiot but don't let that fool you. I really am an idiot.
(With apologies to Grouch Marx)